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Some serious, some humorous, and some in between
“If I were asked to name the greatest of all regional American desserts, my answer might very well be Key Lime pie.”
Craig Claiborne, late great food critic
"A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat."
Author unknown
"We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink."
Epicurus, ancient Greek philosopher, 341-270 BCE
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
Ben Franklin
Shoe cartoon quote:
Shoe: "I truly believe in the power of the press"
Professor: Print or Grape?
Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
Fran Lebowitz
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
Totie Fields.
"There is no such thing as a little garlic."
Arthur Baer
“Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head”
Ambrose Bierce
“If you want it to be good, it doesn’t matter what you are cooking, all you’ve got to do is fry it.”
Deric Kaiser, DeLand, Florida
"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."
W. C. Fields
“No man is lonely eating spaghetti – it requires too much attention.”
Christopher Morley
"He that takes medicine and neglects diet, wastes the skills of the physician."
Chinese Proverb
Stressed? Spell it backwards for the cure (Desserts)
Author unknown
“It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a home grown tomato”
Humorist Lewis Grizzard
"My mother didn't really cook. But she did make key lime pie, until the day the top of the
evaporated milk container accidentally ended up in the pie and she decided cooking took
too much concentration."
William Norwich
To make a good salad it takes four people: A spend-thrift for oil, a miser for vinegar,
a counselor for salt, and a madman for pepper."
Spanish Proverb
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
Mark Twain
“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.”.
Alex Levine
“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”
W.C. Fields
“The Cardiologist’s Diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.”
Anonymous
“My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it."
Buddy Hackett The Selkirk Grace
(often attributed to Robert Burns, but it was, in fact, already in common use in his time)
Some have meat and cannot eat,
Some cannot eat that want it;
But we have meat and we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit.
“One of the delights of life is eating with friends, second to that is talking about eating. And, for an unsurpassed double whammy, there is talking about eating while you are eating with friends.”
Laurie Colwin
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.”
Mark Twain in Following the Equator
“In the matter of diet I have been persistently strict in sticking to the things which didn’t agree with me until one or the other of us got the best of it.”
Mark Twain in Seventeenth Birthday (speech).
“I always take it (Scotch whiskey) at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.”
Mark Twain in Europe and Elsewhere
Taking the pledge will not make bad liquor good, but it will improve it.”
Mark Twain in More Maxims of Mark, Merle Johnson, Editor.
“Temperate temperance is best.”
Mark Twain in Notebook
“Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.”
Mark Twain in Roughing It
“A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.” Mark Twain in Following the Equator
“It is a talent by itself to pay compliments gracefully and have them ring true. It’s an art in itself.” The Last Lotos Club (speech)
“He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it , inspiring the cabbages.”
Mark Twain in Puddn’head Wilson
“Put all of your eggs in one basket and - - WATCH THAT BASKET.”
Mark Twain in Puddn’head Wilson
“If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.”
Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.”
Joe Weinstein
“Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from the grocery store with the most amazing haul - - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!
Anne Tyler
“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four - - unless there are three other people.”
Orson Welles, (1915 - 1985)
“Wine is sure proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
Benjamin Franklin, (1706 – 1790)
“To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.”
Benjamin Franklin, (1706 – 1790)
“Life is short. Eat dessert first.”
Unknown source
“No poems can live long or please that are written by water-drinkers.”
Horace, Roman poet (65 – 8 BC)
“Manners are a sensitive awareness of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
Emily Post
“Rice is born in water and must die in wine.”
Italian Proverb
“Don’t open a shop unless you know how to smile.”
Jewish Proverb
“I saw him even now going the way of all flesh; that is to say, towards the kitchen.” John Webster
“Three things you never want to see made: laws, budgets and sausage.”
Original author unknown
A military view:
God sends meat but the Devil sends cooks.
Thomas Deloney: Works 1600
“Soup-y, soup-y, soup-y,
Not a single bean
Pork-y, pork-y, porky,
Not a streak of lean
Coffee, coffee, coffee,
Not a drop of cream.”
Traditional words of Mess call
“No soldier can fight properly unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.”
Duke of Marlborough, 1650 – 1722, Sayings
“I hope your excellency is doing all in Your power to supply your half Starved Fellow Citizens. Flour, Rum, and Droves of Bullocks, should without Delay be forwarded to this Army or the Southern Department will soon want one to defend it.”
Horatio Gates: Letter to Governor Thomas Jefferson of Virginia, 1780
“An army marches on its stomach.”
Attributed to Napoleon I, 1769-1821
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